The seven deadly sins of speaking we should teach our kids to avoid are a must know for all parents, if you haven’t yet. We’re all guilty of these sins and it’s time for us to take a closer look, start to unlearn these and teach our kids to avoid.
This blog was inspired by Julian Treasure who is a sound and communication expert, and five-time TED speaker. He gave a popular TED Talk last year that explained how anyone can speak effectively. I was inspired by his speech hence this article was born.
Seven Deadly Sins of Speaking
As our kids grow older, we often tell ourselves that being a parent is hard. Unlike when they were little, all they knew were eat, sleep and play. As they grow older they start new things, make their own decisions and keep little secrets from us.
As parents, our job is not to make our children be perfect, but to let them know that they are imperfect and that they are wired with having the tendency to fail when they try, make the wrong decisions and sometimes feel afraid.
But these doesn’t mean that they are not worthy of our love. Failing and making the wrong decisions do not define them. Instead we must teach our children the things to avoid to make their lives and others more meaningful.
Find out the seven deadly sins of speaking our children should avoid.
Reality – a lot of people speak ill of somebody who is not present. Today people spend so much time talking about other people’s lives than to try to improve themselves or their life. Worse, some talk about people’s personal or private affairs as if it’s just some sort of casual talk.
As the saying goes, children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate from us parents. They learn more from what we show them than what we teach them.
Stop gossiping about an officemate, a high school classmate, your neighbor or the mother in your kid’s school. It will not do you any good. You’re only spreading hatred, lies and negativity and it will soon consume you.
Stop dishing about other people, instead let’s show them compassion. It will teach our kids to go out of their way to help the physical, mental, or emotional pain of others.
Judgmental is a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason. The adjective judgmental describes someone who forms lots of opinions — usually harsh or critical ones — about lots of people.
In this age of social media, we can’t tell which is real or not from what we see people post on social media.
The interesting part is, there are two types of people on social media today. Those who like to show off a great, happy and perfect life which is actually the opposite of their reality just because they want to be relevant and important. Typically like showing off a great lifestyle, successful career and perfect family.
As a result of this, there are those who now become afraid of showing people their reality – failed relationships, failing career or maybe a broken family. Because they are afraid of being judged for not having a great perfect life so then they become like the first person.
This now becomes a vicious cycle that poisons us. The bottom line is we are all imperfect people with imperfect life. We are held together with shame, fear, failure and sometimes grief. But we are all worthy of love and acceptance.
A reminder that we should not judge someone for not having a child yet, or not marrying yet because we do not know what they are going through. We have very little idea of what someone is carrying on their shoulders.
Negativity is incredibly harmful and contagious. It perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and clutters the mind. It blocks ourselves from achieving our highest potential and achieving our goals.
Stop spreading negativity, it’s toxic! We should learn to be hopeful despite the failures. To be grateful even for the smallest things. Change the way we think when we are confronted with obstacles and challenges. Surround ourselves with positive people and to practice a wise effort of letting things go.
We always complain about our boss’ attitude, work schedule, our partner always being late or lack of money. Complaining can feel easier than trying to fix a problem. A lot of people are venter which makes it viral and misery. And this creates a very toxic environment.
The good news is that you can train your brain to stop complaining. We must teach ourselves to learn to adapt. The only sure thing about life is that nothing stays the same. Choose the right channel to air valid concerns, focus on the positive things and practice gratitude.
Stop complaining, do something!
People who often do this are blame thrower and do not take accountability nor responsibility. People are motivated to make excuses to preserve their images of being good and in control, and these preserved images are for both the surrounding people who may have witnessed the mistakes, as well as the actual people who made the errors.
Having the sense of ownership and responsibility are important values we should teach our children. We should be responsible for our own actions and should not blame others for the decisions we make whether in career or personal life.
In the end the excuses we make will not change what was already done and we cannot blame others for the life we have. Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of complaining.
Create a way, not an excuse.
Embroidering and exaggeration are the root cause of misunderstanding that sometimes end up in broken relationships. The worst are those who make up stories about others, then spread these lies. Such people are evil, spiteful and truly unhappy with themselves.
There are already too much hatred in this world, let us be one of those who spread kindness and love. Making up stories and spreading lies about someone is the most cruel thing you could do. We each have our own journey and story, giving each other a pat on the back or a little push upward can make a lot of difference to someone who might really need it.
The truth doesn’t cost anything, but a lie could cost you everything.
Dogmatism is a way of thinking that is stubborn and narrow-minded, often because of prejudice and bigotry. It is when someone is bombarding you with opinions as if they were facts without consideration of others’ views.
It’s important to accept and allow your beliefs to be questioned. It’s okay to have conflicting ideas. We should understand that we have a diverse culture with different opinions.
The fact is, we live in a world of opinionated people. And we just have to accept and respect other’s opinion even if we disagree with them.
Everyone of us not just our children should be reminded each day of the the seven deadly sins of speaking. Whether we apply it to our career or personal life, these are the things that we should avoid to make our lives better.
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Read other blogs:
- The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice
- How to Teach Kids About Money to be Financially Wise
- Kids, Do Not Be Afraid to Make Mistakes